Productivity

I am not one to leap out of bed each morning. Nor am I one to derive joy and happiness from ticking off items on a to- do list. Some people just love the feeling of accomplishment they have at the end of a day of errands, chores, and house projects.

Frankly, I have never felt this "accomplishment." Of course, I am happy with the practical results as well as the peacefulness that occurs when all the mundanity (made up word) is taken care of. But for some reason, I just can't congratulate myself for doing it. This makes it hard for me to motivate myself to begin.

Hence! My mundanity often goes undone. Drycleaning piles up. Dust accumlates under the bed. Pictures remain un-hung. Eventually I am overwhelmed and out of control.

Enter my secret weapon:

MASCARA

Somehow, putting on my mascara increases my motivation and productivity by 200%. After a few swipes just yesterday I cleaned out underneath my bed- a task I had been dreading for months. MONTHS I tell you.

Each night in bed as I waited to fall asleep my mind wandered to UNDER THE BED and the nightmare of cleaning it. Oh, I fretted. I worried. But was I motivated to fix it? No! Add some mascara? Done AND done.

My theory to explain this mascara- productivity link is based on a historical tidbit shared by my mom: when 50's housewives got up, they put on their faces even if they were only staying home to cook and clean. When they became worn down and depressed by the drudgery (this was pre- Feminine Mystique, remember) friends and doctors encouraged them to continue to look their best, and in particular prescribed never going without makeup. They were on to something, I tell ya.

Oh, and today? No mascara on these lashes as of yet (3:45 PM). Have I gotten anything accomplished? Of course not.

Time to bust out the Diorshow, and get to work!

Aaahhh...

Heaven.

Black Bean Dip

Me gusta el bean dip. Here's how to make it:

1. Go to the grocery store and get 1 can of black beans (15 oz), 1 can of diced green chiles (4 oz), a buncha cilantro, some sour cream, and the piece de resistance...
Don't be scared. Also, make sure you have some chile powder and hot sauce and some garlic powder if your little heart desires. Oh, and some chips. Did you know that chips are called "totopos" in some Spanish dialects? I think that's a cute word.

Anyway.

Open up the beans and dump them into a colander and rinse 'em off. Put them in a bowl and smash with a fork.

You have completed your upper body workout for the day!

Drain the chiles but don't rinse. Throw them in the bowl and add a scant (less than) half a cup each of sour cream and Miracle Whip. The original recipe calls for too much, I think, at half a cup each. I also generally put in a bit more sour cream than Whip.

Ha ha, Whip. That makes me think of this.

Chop up a decent sized handful of cilantro, including the stems. Did you know the stems have tons of cilantro-y flavor? I told my mom that and she was so happy, she had been de-stemming it and using only the leaves for her whole life, which is obviously way tedious.

Throw in the cilantro, and a few palmfuls of chile powder. Add some hot sauce to taste and a dash of garlic powder if you have it.

If you're feeling fancy, you can plonk the whole thing into a new clean bowl and garnish the top with a cilantro leaf and a sprinkle of chile powder. !Ole!

Serve dip to rave reviews and don't tell anyone that it contains the Whip. Your secret is safe with me!

"Everything you see..."

"... I owe to Balboa
burgers."
- me